Loss, life & motherhood
Mum worry is the hardest. It comes hand in and with the overwhelming sensation to protect our children from all of the terrible things that life has to throw. But what happens when we simply can’t? Often life doesn’t pan out how we planned it and there are going to be things that we just... Continue Reading →
I just want to be okay. Like really okay, not sometimes okay or nearly okay. Actually okay. I want to mean it when I say that I am. I want this weight to lift from chest. I don’t want to feel it being crushed every second of the day. I want to breathe. Deeply and... Continue Reading →
This is probably going to be controversial and hugely unpopular but I feel like it needs to be addressed.Now everyone discusses the stigma attached to breastfeeding and attempts to abolish societies insane views towards doing it in public and rightly so. What nobody talks about however is the shame and stigma that is also attached... Continue Reading →
Everywhere I go people insist on telling me how 'lucky' I am to have one girl and one boy. They say "oh it must be lovely having one of each". Now, when it comes from strangers it doesn't enfuriate me so much. I mean all they see is the two children in front of them,... Continue Reading →
Now its been a little over a year since we recieved Noah's post mortem results and up until I just haven't had the words to write about it. So let me recap a little. We waited 9 months. Yes 9 long and very difficult months until we discovered what was behind our sons death. In... Continue Reading →
Nan, We never got to say goodbye; Not a text, a letter, a conversation or even a funeral. You were here one day, then the next day you were just gone. It was hard to really grasp the concept that you were no longer here since covid withheld us from the traditional grief rituals, it... Continue Reading →
Dear friend, There isn’t a word that accurately describes how much you and all off your support means to me. You were there through the darkness and never once told me it would be okay, because you knew it just wouldn’t. You stayed even after others ran. You sat with me in my pit and... Continue Reading →
A couple of weeks ago someone reached out to me and asked for some tips on surviving pregnancy after loss and I honestly had no idea what to say. I had obviously survived pregnancy after loss my 6 month old was proof of that, but how? I do not know, honestly I don't. It was... Continue Reading →
Preparing for a new baby is stressful at the best of times but when you have previously prepared for a baby that you didn't get to bring home it is all that much harder. We started some preparations for Noah and Oliver's little sister, albeit much earlier than I had wanted but with the current... Continue Reading →
Dear grief, You have only been in my life for a short while but if I'm honest I can't remember what life was like without you. We have become intertwined, I feel you everywhere. Our relationship is complicated to say the least, sometimes I despise you and other times I'm grateful for what you have... Continue Reading →
