Baby loss, grief, Life after loss

The silent birthday

Another year, another birthday,Still there is no sound.No presents ripping openNo giggles from the fun.No parties full of dancing,Or gathering around.No last minute dash for things we forgot,No need to shop at all. The silence of your birthday,It really is quite loud.An empty, stark reminder,Of all the things that should have been,A three year old… Continue reading The silent birthday

Mental health

Mental health and I – Mental health awareness day 2021

Today is mental health awareness day and up until 2018 I had always looked at this month from an outsiders point of view. I'd never known what it felt like to struggle with my mental health, up until I had my first miscarriage my life was pretty much plain sailing. In March 2018 that all… Continue reading Mental health and I – Mental health awareness day 2021

Life after loss

Still I smile

It’s just a simple smile. I mean do we ever really think about it when it happens? It appears without warning and leaves just the same and we rarely take a second to acknowledge it. It’s warm, it’s happy and it feels good. It’s something that just comes naturally, we were born to know how.… Continue reading Still I smile

Parenting

When we simply cannot protect them

Mum worry is the hardest. It comes hand in and with the overwhelming sensation to protect our children from all of the terrible things that life has to throw. But what happens when we simply can’t? Often life doesn’t pan out how we planned it and there are going to be things that we just… Continue reading When we simply cannot protect them

Mental health

I guess I’m just not okay.

I just want to be okay. Like really okay, not sometimes okay or nearly okay. Actually okay. I want to mean it when I say that I am. I want this weight to lift from chest. I don’t want to feel it being crushed every second of the day. I want to breathe. Deeply and… Continue reading I guess I’m just not okay.

feeding

My feeding choice does NOT make me inferior!

This is probably going to be controversial and hugely unpopular but I feel like it needs to be addressed.Now everyone discusses the stigma attached to breastfeeding and attempts to abolish societies insane views towards doing it in public and rightly so. What nobody talks about however is the shame and stigma that is also attached… Continue reading My feeding choice does NOT make me inferior!

Parenting after loss

Isn’t lovely having ONE of each?

Everywhere I go people insist on telling me how 'lucky' I am to have one girl and one boy. They say "oh it must be lovely having one of each". Now, when it comes from strangers it doesn't enfuriate me so much. I mean all they see is the two children in front of them,… Continue reading Isn’t lovely having ONE of each?

Baby loss, Life after loss

Discovering the reason

Now its been a little over a year since we recieved Noah's post mortem results and up until I just haven't had the words to write about it. So let me recap a little. We waited 9 months. Yes 9 long and very difficult months until we discovered what was behind our sons death. In… Continue reading Discovering the reason

Letter

A letter for my best friend

Dear friend, There isn’t a word that accurately describes how much you and all off your support means to me. You were there through the darkness and never once told me it would be okay, because you knew it just wouldn’t. You stayed even after others ran. You sat with me in my pit and… Continue reading A letter for my best friend